bowtiesandbiscuits:

15th of March 2012.

Ordered a Caesar Salad today, proceeded to stab it 23 times before consumption. Nobody else found it as hilarious. 

(via awkwardlyobnoxious)

watchingtheworldmove:

official petition for a Punk Goes Disney CD

(Source: riotsoverdiets, via brandonrightski)

(Source: humortrain, via awkwardlyobnoxious)

askinnyblackman:

where is your god now

(via hathatsfunny)

santanadelrey:

i miss the golden age of darren’s stoner tweets

and my personal favorite

(via quinnsrachelarchiveidk)

hey

you

dont you dare think

for even a second

that nobody saw you

when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE I SAW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR SHITTY PARKING JOB IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD

(Source: maximumbuttitude, via fearless-fugitive)

bipch:

bipch:

my sister was just informed that she couldnt purchase a starbucks gold card under the name “fuck bitches get money” and the woman couldn’t contain her laughter while telling her

she did it

(Source: speedwagonfoundation, via spapapppapa-deactivated20130520)

tyrawanks:

i hate auto correct so much

i accidentally text my grandmother saying ‘sex tonight’

i meant tomorrow

(via heterochromiaaa)

officialsalad:

i like reading people’s FAQs 

they’re trying to be extra intimidating and then end it with a compliment and it just ends up like

Q: how old are you?
A: 14, STOP ASKING. 

Q: are you single?
A: yes, but NOT INTERESTED.

Q: would you ever date a girl?
A: NO. 

Q: you’re pretty
A: Thanks sooooo much but I get so many of these I couldn’t possibly answer them all:)(: 

(via satanisabiscuit)

methlabrador:

my little sister is addicted to that online game Club Penguin so today i made an account and ive been following her around in the penguin world all day and beating her in every game she tries to play and just standing in her igloo looking at the wall she doesnt know its me and she just let out a defeated scream from the other room i love the internet 

(via spapapppapa-deactivated20130520)

thelordofthebutts:

welcome to night blogging, where the posts are shit and the notes don’t matter

(via heterochromiaaa)

No but this is the best video of all year.

doworkniggga:

I’m about to turn in my last senior paper like this.

YOLO. 

(via babebraham)